16 Apr “Opinion | When My Father Got Alzheimer’s, I Had to Learn to Lie to Him” – The New York Times
“When my father was declining from Alzheimer’s disease, one of the things my siblings and I used to argue about was whether to correct his confusions.
For example, my father, in his impaired state, expected his live-in aide to work for room and board and would lash out at her (and us) whenever he learned that she had been paid. My siblings tended to think that it was fine to lie to him about matters like this if it helped him (and us) get through one of his rancorous moods.
I fought against this practice as a matter of principle. As a doctor, I had seen how even well-meaning deception, such as withholding bad news, could be damaging. To me, a healthy relationship with our father, even in his debilitated state, could be based only on truth and trust. Small lies, even if told with the best of intentions, would undermine his dignity and erode what little connection we had left with him …”Read